On Tuesday, the National Labor Relations Board consolidated several complaints against T-Mobile for alleged anti-union practices, which will lead to a nationwide ruling several months down the road. Among the accusations of illegal behavior made by the Communications Workers of America (CWA) against the company are employee intimidation and interrogation and strong opposition to union organizing activities.
If that wasn't bad enough, a T-Mobile manager in Albuquerque, N.M., allegedly withheld the "high five" hand gesture from pro-union employees. In light of that revelation and in the spirit of poking fun at T-Mobile, here are 10 suggestions as to how T-Mobile managers could further punish pro-union employees:
1. Have anti-union and pro-union employees wear different-colored work shirts, so that they are clearly identifiable for managers.
2. Pro-union employees only get one napkin from the company cafeteria (anti-union employees get UNLIMITED napkins).
3. Raise prices on all non-chocolate items in the company vending machine by a quarter for pro-union employees.
4. Pro-union employees not allowed to participate in casual Fridays.
5. Only anti-union employees are eligible for gold stars for doing a good job.
6. The pro-union workers only get one-ply toilet paper (anti-union employees get two-ply).
7. Free copy of "T-Mobile for Dummies" provided to all anti-union employees; pro-union employees don't get a copy.
8. Pro-union employees not allowed to play the custom T-Mobile foosball table in the break room.
9. On "Bring Your Pet to Work Day," pro-union employees only allowed to bring goldfish to work.
10. When performing team-building trust falls, let pro-union employees fall without catching them.
We kid, we kid. But seriously, withholding a high-five? Now that's just cold.